Face it: most of us are not very good at asking others for what we need. We tend to come off as either too aggressive or wishy-washy. Moreover, when we’re in conflict, our asking skills tend to deteriorate into either demanding bitchiness or passive-aggressiveness that descends into resentment. Not a good look, on anyone.

But, there’s a way to ask for what you need and to enlist others in giving it to you, by being respectfully assertive. It requires communicating clearly what your needs are, how others’ behavior affects you, and enlists others in satisfying your needs.

Much less planning goes into cohabitation than into a wedding, but it is, in many ways, a bigger legal, financial and emotional step.