Gray Divorce

By Robin Masson on Jun 29, 2021 in Divorce Mediation

Many of the divorces I mediate are for couples in their 50's or 60's, after long-term marriages.  These are known as "Gray Divorces", and are an increasingly more common occurrence.  The emotional, financial, and social issues involved make these divorces particularly suited to the creativity and flexibility inherent in mediation, rather than the "one size fits all" apporach of litigation.  My goal in mediation is to enable each spouse to feel heard regarding their needs, as well as to hear the other spouse's needs.  We are then able to identify each person's most important needs an interests, and devise solutions that meet as many of those needs as possible.

While custody is usually not an issue in gray divorces, often the couple has adult children who, nonetheless, are affected by their parents' divorce.  There are still holidays and milestones to celebrate and grandchildren to be shared.  A respectful, creative divorce process that enables the parties to move on with their lives efficients and cost-effectively incresases the likelihood that they will continue to be able to enjoy their family in the years to come, albeit as separate individuals.

This article explores many of the issue inherent in gray divorces and reflects my experience working with these couples.

Robin provided a very no nonsense approach to the sticky business of Divorce, for my ex-husband and Me. She understood that we got along well enough to discuss the custody of our three children---on OUR own terms. She navigated our differences regarding our Home​ so that we had a flexible and comfortable agreement for selling a home which we had built ourselves. She really heard our nuanced desires, and how we envisioned ourselves in the future.